My Antonio on VH1

It's a little after 3 a.m. I can't sleep - well, it's not that I can't, I just don't want to. I'm a night owl. Laying in bed, flipping the remote. Nothing is on. Then, I come across something so cheesy, so ridiculous, so "this can't be serious"...and I'm hooked.

The premise of the show reminds me of The Bachelor. Only, this is like the B-movie version. The trashy, late-night version. Think The Bachelor meets Jerry Springer meets cheesy soap opera. It's called My Antonio and it's on VH1.




It stars Antonio Sabato Jr. He is the hottie celebrity who is looking for love. For his soul mate. And, he's come to Hawaii to let VH1 help him find her. In case you are not familiar with Antonio, he is a daytime tv star who had roles on the popular General Hospital as well as The Bold and The Beautiful. Antonio was also hugely (no pun intended) popular as a Calvin Klein underwear model.



So, he's in Hawaii. There are a group of young ladies, all eager to meet, and maybe fall in love with, Antonio. In the opening episode, the ladies are waiting on the beach. A boat approaches, and as it nears the beach, we see Antonio, peeling down to his ve-ry small swim trunks. He dives into the water and swims to the beach to meet the ladies. Of course, the ladies are all smiles, tongues wagging, as he walks up to them and introduces himself. One by one, the ladies present themselves, telling their name and shaking hands, etc. As Antonio approaches one of the women (I don't remember her name), we see him checking out her feet (which are in flip-flops). He immediately pulls her aside to talk to her privately. The other women are thinking, he must really be impressed, what does she have that I don't have. Antonio talks to her, asks where she's from (she is French, I think). They converse in another language for a second. Then, he asks her what part of a man is it that instantly attracts her. "The chest" she says. Antonio replies, "for me, it is the hands and the feet." He then proceeds to tell her, basically, he can already tell by looking at her, that it's not gonna happen between the two of them. He's just not attracted to her. And, he sends her on her way. Right there, in the introductory meeting line. Oh. My. Gosh. The drama! The other women are stunned.

Speaking of the other women, there are some characters. Most are of the "huge-fake-boob-fake-tan-heavy-makeup" variety. One of the girls is so strange and backward - she literally cries when Antonio talks to her and runs from him when he tries to approach her. I felt sorry for her, but, I have to admit, I had to close my eyes for a minute. She was just so very bizarre. I was embarrassed for her. Antonio tries his best to console her and put her at ease. At another point in the episode, everyone is together at a pool party. A mysterious older woman shows up and motions Antonio over. It's his mother. She certainly has her own thoughts on which girl is or isn't right for him. Finally, another mystery woman appears. It's Antonio's long-lost ex-wife, that he hasn't seen in 18 years. Surprise! He looks shocked to see her. She says she's still in love with him and here to win him back. You go girl!

Have you seen this show? Are you hooked, too? If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing Antonio and his ladies, look for them on VH1. You might or might not be disappointed.