Today, our oldest son (he's the one who recently had the major eye surgery - he is doing very well now) is celebrating his 16th birthday. He is smart, extremely funny, and for the most part, very responsible. He's excited about getting his driver's permit and looking for his first job this summer. It's all pretty scary for me. I'm what you might call a worry-wart or nervous-nellie. All this business about him growing up and wanting some new freedoms is hard for me. Some of his friends are starting to drive and he is wanting to go places with them. It's all I can do to let him get in a car with another teenager and take off down the street. ACK! I just worry so much. But, I know I have to gradually let him have these freedoms, and trust that he will make good decisions and do the right things.
So, my Aloha Friday question(s) for you this week are:
1. If you have teenagers or grown children, how did you handle things as they started spreading their wings and wanting more freedom? Any words of wisdom?
2. What about you? Do you remember what you were doing around your 16th birthday?
For more Aloha Friday, visit
Kailani over at An Island Life.
6 comments:
My mom always gave me freedom, and only took it away if I abused it. I basically messed up "really big" once and then never again.
My son is 14 and he is aloud to go to church group and have friends over.
When I was 16 I was going to a little dance on Saturday night that is it.
Be consistent and follow through. If they understand the rules that you set you will be ok. When they break them you have to follow through.
I allowed my kids the freedom to make choices. Not all choices were great, but I was there for support on those not great choices. I'm always blown away when parents hand feed a senior in high school and then don't understand why this student has a tough time in college.
Since my mom will never read this I will share that I wasn't always such a good girl. At the time I thought I was doing the right/ok thing. But looking back and now with a 15 y.o. step-daughter I know I was a bad girl.
Once I got my license I was off. My mom was very trusting and I definitely did things I know she wouldn't have liked, BUT we weren't the kind of family that talked and shared a lot.
I try to do more of that with my family now and hope that will help the kids make wiser choices. Because chances are we will talk about it.
Oh dear, we won't even discuss what I was doing at 16..noone could prove it anyway.
When my kids turned 16 I was sooo scared. I remember my mom talking me off the ledge several times. I would make them call me the minute they parked the car. I'd have to know exactly where they were at all times and I would make them call me the second they were about to leave. They hated it, but I knew for my own sanity, I had to do it.
After a while I realized that i had to trust them that they would make good decisions...and for the most part they did.
kari, I don't think you ever stop worrying..I still worry when one of my sons gets behind the wheel,but now, I'm just not so vocal about it.
Good luck mama, you too will get through it. You wouldn't be a mom if you weren't freaked out.
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