It seems the trend these days is for many 20-somethings (and even older) to continue living with their parents, or else to be moving back in with them because of tough times. As a parent of a 20 year old son who still lives at home, I have conflicted feelings about this topic.
On the one hand, I know my son is nowhere near ready to live on his own. Mostly for financial reasons but also because he doesn't have a clue as to all the responsibilities living on your own entails. He has it pretty easy at home and besides a few bills, he really doesn't have to take care of much else.
On the other hand, how else will he ever learn to be responsible and support himself unless he goes out there and just has to do it? I think some parents today (me!) tend to make things way too easy on their kids and shelter them a little too much.
He will soon be 21 so he is still young. I see nothing wrong with him continuing to live at home for now, at least until he figures out his future a little bit more and becomes more financially secure. He says all the time that he wants to move out but I see no signs of him making the necessary preparations for said move (i.e. saving money). He works a full-time job but he definitely has not figured out how to save. I feel like that's a failure on our part. We have talked to him over and over about the importance of saving. But, he is a young adult and I cannot physically confiscate his paycheck and make him save money. Can I?
It's a slippery slope and tricky to figure out...just how much to butt in to the affairs of your young adult child.
At what age did you first move out on your own? Or, if you are a parent to older kids, what ages were they when they moved out?
Anyway, while we're on the subject of moving out, here's a great infographic I came across at ThriftyTricks.com -- Check it out...
4 comments:
This is something we talk about a lot with my husband. I moved out the day after I graduated high school. I moved 8 hrs away for a summer Job. Then I went right off to college.
My husband moved out at 19, as he did work for our church. Then when he went back to school; he moved back in while he was starting college again to help save money so he could get through college faster. Which I can see that as a good help. We ended up meeting and getting married at college and then he moved out when we got married.
His sister moved out to college shortly after she graduated high school too, and she went off to college too. She and her husband got married and tried to go at it one their own, but the rent got raised and they couldn't do it anymore so they had to move back into the parents basement. But they've been working on moving out ever since, trying to find a place that will be within their budget of what they can afford.
the youngest brother...is now almost 26; and still at home and no inclination of wanting to move out at all.
So it stems some interested conversations. I think his parents have hindered the youngest brother. too much of a safety net they have given him. Where all the other kids wanted to move out, but had to bide time until they actually cool; at least they were motivated and wanted to and were showing signs of trying to. but when the kid is just cruising by, and not motivated at all to get out on his own...I think that is when it has gone too far.
I know as parents we just want to help our kids and be there for them and take care of them. And it's hard to let go. But at some point we do have to push them out of the nest. But it is easier for me to say it as my oldest is only 10 and i haven't had to face pushing one out yet. But I hope I can be strong enough, because I think my inlaws are actually enabling my BIL more than helping him.
When I was 19 years old, I couldn't wait to move out, off to a different province for different experiences. My family was great and I missed them...but I was ready to be off on my own
I moved out when I was 17 and I was not ready, but my mom had other feelings. My oldest moved out to go to college at 19 and she did great. I think it all depends on how well prepared you are.
Girls rock! I moved out a lot but always moved back in with my mom. The final time I moved out was when I got married. Great infographic, very informative.
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